So it’s been a bit since I last wrote… been a little crazy at home. Baby is ALL over the place in my tummy. Quite painful. The girls have been back and forth annoying… and couldn’t seem to find my motivation for anything. Someone explain this to me. How do women love pregnancy??? I mean I get you have a precious child at the end of it. Of course for most, the act to become pregnant was a very fun time. (It was for me…..) But the pregnancy itself…IT SUCKS. Let me list the ways:

  • Morning Sickness- Nausea, vomiting..
  • Heartburn – How to turn into an acid breathing dragon
  • Eating- To most this is a wonderful time, but the weight gain and craving ridiculous stuff is not
  • (They should make a buffet for pregnancy… Free of charge, it’s not my fault I crave something, why should I pay for it… it is never something I have at home, and quite often too late to go to the store to get the ingredients…)
  • Swelling-  Feet, hands, face, feet, legs, butt, tummy………… ALL BODY PARTS
  • Weight gain- think of the stress to take it off afterward…….. No one gives us a free gym membership to thank us for bring life to this world…. Just saying.
  • Tummy pouch- that in rare cases actually goes away, depending if you know how to…
  • Sore Breasts- not like rubbing will truly take away the pain, pressure can hurt like hell….
  • Period?- Some still get their period. (I am soo sorry)
  • Mass exhaustion- You can never keep up. Guilt set in when you can’t prep during the “Nesting” phase….. Now you are screwed.
  • Bathroom time- Doing number 1 every 5 freaking seconds… and the possibility of doing number 2…..
  • Constipation- why? That is just mean. (just get the squatty potty, thank me later.)
  • Hot flashes?- Do not ask us the damn temperature. Why? We are feeling what menopause will be like……. I sweat more, and in more places. (feel like a beached whale… out of air, it’s hot and dry)

And our favorite…….

  • Mood swings- if I wanted to witness a mood swing, i would hang out with bi-polar people, or mother-in-laws… At least then it is a choice… but no. No choice for us. I cry more often. Seriously this is uncool. I would like to enjoy a movie and actually WATCH it…. Nope, instead I see it with blurry, wet vision. No longer can I enjoy watching the blind side… Instead tear up, because of just how amazingly sweet the boy is to his newly adoptive family. (Wish every child was that nice, and appreciative). But then you cry because of his past. No child should ever have to endure such a life style.

Makes you wish your kids acted the same. Then you get the epiphany that maybe you should adopt children, to give them a good home. (But your house is not big enough to adopt them all…)

You go from happy to pissed quite fast. Only really stupid people argue with a pregnant woman. That right there is life or death. Why poke the bear??????? To calm most pregnant women, the key is food…. And most likely sugar. Works for me.

Pregnancy sucks. It is painful, exhausting and one hell of a roller coaster. How do some women LOVE it??? The baby kicking? No. It is either my stomach, lungs or bladder that get hit. I like my food where it is. I like not peeing in my pants, I don’t think of bring a change of clothes, due to pregnant brain. (I can not remember a thing.) Who like the wind taken from them? It’s not like your first love who sweeps you off your feet and takes your breath away… It is a kick to the lungs from the inside. Hurts so bad, you’re pretty sure your heart stopped at the same time. Now you are panting for air. Everyone likes hanging out with a dog. Duh.

I love the kid afterward… I do not like being pregnant or giving birth and dying afterward… Anyone else with me???

(the pic is my second demon….)


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